To Think That A 40 Year Old Man Dating A 21 Year Old Is Off?

Every time he asks me out, it’s more like ‘lets hang out’. I’ve been out for drinks once with him and once in a group and never really considered it a date. But it seems like he is getting crazier about me by the week. I find him staring at me a lot of times when I turn around and those times I can’t meet his gaze without blushing. I can’t stop thinking about him but I’m worried. We’re from two different cultures, me from the more conservative one.

Have Fun

Want to spend your time, money, and energy on purpose? If you date a younger man you must understand what you have signed on for. All activities that fall under the banner of ‘commitment’ will probably flip him out.

How Do Yall Feel About This??

We talk about a serious future together as we have very compatible life goals, but I worry him being with me is stopping him from experiencing other people and happiness in his life. Success stories would be much appreciated. I had the answer to my original question, but I wasn’t satisfied. If the creepiness rule is wrong, then I needed a new rule to guide my non-existent love life. As I reviewed the data, I realized that one rule was not enough. When John/Lauren are 30, the creepiness rule actually lines up with how people responded.

You can’t make somebody love you, and you can’t make them stay if they don’t want to. I’ll tell you 100% if you are not clingy, desperate and can be independent and happy without him, it will attract him more as opposed to you depending on him. When it comes to dating older, women have the advantage. The acceptable maximum ages of Lauren’s partners were consistently higher than John’s by around 3.5 years.

And I guess it was true since a 35 yr. Old pursued me… believe me I questioned him ‘why’ and he even said he had at one time a gf my age and it worked out except distance became a factor and not the age. I must admit I have been battling my own demons in my head over this very subject. I have always had issue with age gaps and because of the type of person I am I always looked to my parents who are 1year apart. Plus I have a younger brother who is 7 year younger than me, so I was always aware about dating younger would make me meet someone my brothers age.

If you’re serious about him, the kids are part of the package, so it will serve your relationship well if you put effort into getting to know them and having a relationship with them. While this isn’t necessarily going to happen to you, realize that some men date younger women as a sort of trophy.It makes them feel powerful and desired if they can snag a much younger woman. Among your friends, you are the mature one.

It makes me think of those movies or something. I never imaged it would happen to me! Best of luck to everyone in this situation and if you are still around thread started it would be great to hear an update. I am now 48 and in a loving exclusive relationship with a 23yo. For those who would call me a cougar, I remind them that that denotes a predatory instinct, which couldn’t be further from my personality.

Be Prepared for a Bumpy Road with Friends and Family

I am 64 and dating many men over 60. They have all kinds of health issues. My husband died suddenly of a heart attack at 60, on his first day of retirement!

I went speed-dating, online-dating, wine-tasting dating, quiz-dating and dinner-dating. I joined running clubs, did acting classes and dance classes, went on skiing holidays and singles holidays and badgered my friends to set me up with their friends. “They’re less likely to experience the same judgments and stereotypes if they decide to date an older man at this age.”

In 2009, she was a featured performer in the Kidz Bop music video for its cover of the song “Hot n Cold” by Katy Perry, which was released on Kidz Bop 15. In November 2009, she auditioned for the role of CeCe Jones in the Disney sitcom Shake It Up . For her audition, she performed Michael Jackson’s “Leave Me Alone”. She was selected to play Rocky Blue. Shake It Up premiered on November 7, 2010, and was watched by 6.2 million viewers, becoming Disney Channel’s second highest-rated premiere in Disney Channel’s 27-year history.

I have never had a happy relationship with a guy my own age. I’m 28 and all my boyfriends bar one have been in their 40’s. It was the one the same age as me who was the abusive wanker. She’s a very young 21, at Uni, likes to drink, party, mess around and have lots of relationships. Plus, as Sherman says, refusing to “succumb to outer social pressure, shame, stigma or limiting beliefs” will help your relationship survive. Carbino agrees that couples will need to develop “resiliency,” and a strategy regarding how to deal with criticism from friends, family, and strangers who don’t understand the attraction.

What goes on behind closed doors and its not adults with underage children, then No Problem. Anyone who thinks it’s wrong are just haters because they can’t get a younger man. Our love for one another is so awesome. Hard to believe that two people can actually love each other.


Think back to when you were that age. It’s difficult sometimes to see him going through some of the hard lessons that I had to go through at that age. But I can’t learn those lessons for him. Well, I’m 50 yo FM, married with 2 grown sons.

I suppose love comes in all shapes and sizes. Things to consider down the road include children (does he have any? does he want any? is she happy with what he wants or will she maybe change her mind – I did), future goals and life plans, etc. I do worry more about when my husband is old (I watched my grandmother take care of her husband – 17 yrs her senior – in his last years) but day to day I don’t think about his age and vice versa.